


Schism

by imtotallystoked



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-07 00:47:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14659719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imtotallystoked/pseuds/imtotallystoked
Summary: Taking place immediately following the events of Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Rey is left disenchanted and must overcome feelings of inadequacy and abandonment to lead her people (what is left of the Resistance).On the other side of the Force bond, Kylo Ren has become the Supreme Leader of the violent dictatorship known as the First Order.While both attempt to forget the other and move on with their plans, the Force has other ideas, and the two are pulled together, destinies intertwined.





	1. Numb

**Author's Note:**

> Listen
> 
> IDK how this website works
> 
> I've read stuff on here for years, but never made an account, and the whole tagging system has left me a bit confused to say the least lmao
> 
> If I've left anything untagged or if you have any suggestions of what I should or could add, please let me know!!!
> 
> This is intended to be a looooong Reylo work. It will eventually become explicit, but I haven't gotten there yet. I hope you enjoy!

Rey sat on a bench in the Falcon, numb. The ship was silent save for Leia quietly discussing plans for where to set up their new base. The rest of the group was silent, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Or perhaps trying to forget it. 

They had escaped the First Order, but at what cost? So many lives lost. So many sacrifices made. How could they ever recover from such an event? 

Rey felt like she wanted to cry, but found herself unable to. In her mind, she was screaming and thrashing, mourning for countless lost souls. She mused that the others were likely going through the same thing, having lost long-time friends, commanding officers, and even family. 

Rey looked to Finn for comfort, support, anything he could provide. He had an arm draped reassuringly over a small dark-haired woman. She was fiddling with some sort of metal medallion on a delicate chain, both of them staring aimlessly off into the ship. 

As much as she needed her friend, the moment felt too intimate to interrupt. They both needed to deal with their traumas in their own way. 

“Stars above…” a voice spoke close by. Rey turned her head to see Poe attempting to clean the salt and dust from BB-8’s various crevices, taking care to be delicate with some of the more fragile mechanical components. 

The silence felt like it stretched for ages, more like a dream running in slow motion than an actual event they were all living through. Rey had been in a lot of different situations in her life, some significantly more intense than others, but never anything so terrible as these speechless moments. She found herself wishing a door would open on the Falcon and the rest of the Resistance would emerge, laughing about how they planned such a sick and elaborate joke. Maybe Han would walk out behind them, clap a hand on her back, and thank her for taking care of the Falcon in his stead. 

Eventually, the General stepped to the center of the space, posture perfect but clearly heavy-hearted. She took a deep breath, tried to say something, then stopped, sighing instead and lowering her gaze. In this moment, she seemed broken, more so even than after the loss of her husband. The woman that stood before them had been carrying the galaxy on her shoulders, and it was causing her to crumble. 

“General…” Poe started, but she held out a hand to silence him, which he did. What would he have been able to say anyway? Nothing could fix this. 

“The Resistance,” she finally began, “is my family. Every single one of you. No matter how long you’ve been with us, how much we’ve spoken, or what your position is on this team. You are all my family. They…” she motioned out into space, back toward the direction they had escaped from, “were all my family. And I have failed you all.” 

Immediately, voices rang out in protest. Rey blinked at the woman, unsure what she was talking about. The general sacrificed everything she had for them, for her movement. How could she think she had failed them? 

Leia straightened, speaking authoritatively over the other voices. “I have failed my family. I have failed to protect you from harm, failed to ensure your safety. But know this – I tried my very best. I love you all, more than I could ever have thought possible, and the fact that we lost so many…” She stopped and swallowed, no doubt trying to control her tears. “This has been my greatest failure. And I will carry that guilt with me for the rest of my life. You all look to me for guidance, for orders, for hope. None of these events fall on the shoulders of any of you. This weight is mine alone to bear. IF you need someone to blame, blame me. If you need someone to hate, hate me. No matter how long it may take for some of you to come back to the Resistance, if you ever do, know that I will always be here waiting for you with open arms, because you are all the most impressive and talented people this galaxy has to offer, and because I love you all so much. When we land, whoever wants to leave need only speak to me and I will have you transported to a safe place. No questions asked. No punishments. No grudges.” 

She slowly looked around the room, trying to make eye contact with as many people as she could. When her gaze met Rey’s, she smiled a sad smile, and Rey nodded slightly in response. 

“That being said,” she resumed, “I continue to believe in the Resistance. I believe in what we’re doing, and I believe in the people helping us to do it. What we’re doing…It’s right for the galaxy. For me, at least, it’s my only option, the only life I can ever imagine myself living. If there is evil and injustice in this galaxy, I cannot allow myself to sit idly by and watch my people suffer. I was a princess once, and the same loyalty I felt then to the people of Alderaan I now feel toward each one of you and to each and every innocent being in the galaxy. So long as there are tyrannical organizations like the First Order or the Galactic Empire hurting people, there will be good people like you fighting for justice. No matter how many times I am knocked down, how hopeless the situation may seem, I will always pick myself back up and rebuild what has been lost. For you. If you choose to continue to be a part of this movement, know that I will do everything in my power until my last breath to never fail you again.” 

She gave her speech with such confidence and sincerity that Rey was certain there was nobody on the ship that could doubt her intentions. For a while, everyone just looked at each other, perhaps unsure what to do or say in response. 

Poe stood, taking a step toward the general, and began slowly clapping. Some joined him, others watched on. 

“Well, General, no amount of failure will ever make me turn my back on you, or on The Resistance. You’re stuck with me forever, unfortunately.” Poe beamed his signature charming smile at her, and she smiled back sadly. The girl under Finn’s arm chuckled quietly at the exchange. “So, General, what’s our next move? I’ll follow you to the ends of the galaxy if it would help us stop the First Order.” BB-8 beeped in agreement at his feet. 

“Me too,” a crewman Rey didn’t recognize chimed in. 

“And me,” the girl with the medallion said, a determined look on her face. Finn smiled down at her. 

One by one, everyone that was left stood and made their loyalty known. Rey had never seen anything like it before, couldn’t have ever even imagined a room so full of hope, of endless faith. There was a whole world of experiences that she had been denied in the deserts of Jakku, and now that she was free of that place she vowed that she would do anything in her power to protect this group of people. They relied on her, the last Force user on their side of the battle, to keep them safe. Just months ago, nobody relied on her for anything beyond gathering scrap metal. The turns her life had taken up to this point were dizzying. 

As the only crew member to have remained silent until now, the others looked to her, waiting for her assent. Leia raised her brows. 

“Well then”, Rey said, righting her posture. “Let’s get to work, shall we?” Rey had nowhere else to go, but couldn’t imagine abandoning these people even if she had the whole galaxy to herself. 

They had already decided on a place to land, a small slowly-rotating planet without a name, known only by a string of numbers. Back during the time of the Empire, it had been a successful base, with a fairly large hangar and setups for various forms of communication technology. Their first priority was the safety of the crew, but after that was established they would need a way to contact their remaining allies. Leia was sure they would come to their aid. All Rey could do was hope. After all, their so-called allies had ignored the fleet’s emergency communications during the encounter with the First Order. Perhaps they would be more willing to assist now that the immediate danger had subsided. 

With Kylo Ren serving as the new Supreme Leader, some expressed discomfort about going to a pre-established base, worried he would be able to find them there. Leia assured them that the base had been abandoned long before Kylo would have ever been born, and that the Empire had no record of it to her knowledge. The biggest threat to their plan, she was sure, was that junk traders may have happened upon it and gutted it of anything valuable, though the size and location of the planet caused her to doubt that possibility. 

Voices were aflutter for the rest of the trip, crewmembers exchanging plans and ideas with one another regarding rations, radio configurations, potential evasive maneuvers if they happened to be tracked down by the First Order, and so on. Every so often. Rey would hear someone refer to Kylo – Murderer, monster, evil – Those were among the more tame descriptors. Rey felt herself wanting to defend him from the onslaught of insults by these strangers, but quashed the urge as quickly as it arose. He was all of those things. That much was undeniable. 

Rey couldn’t imagine what Leia could be feeling, hearing her crew discuss her only son like that. It seemed most people didn’t actually know the relation, otherwise they would likely behave more respectfully in Leia’s presence. Rey wondered who else knew, and if they were also cringing from discomfort in this situation. 

She was sure there was good in him. She’d seen it first hand. But she couldn’t risk any more of her friends’ lives trying to chase that glimmer of light and force it to the surface. He’d proven himself too proud, too dedicated to a false narrative built by his abuser, to recognize that what he was doing was wrong. She risked everything she had to go to him, to show him he wasn’t alone. If he wasn’t willing to see the light after that, Rey doubted he ever would. She needed to care for her people now. She needed to take care of herself. 

Finn approached her, leaving the girl to speak with her crew. 

“Rey…” He pulled her into a hug, and she buried her face in his shoulder. She missed her friend. She had so much to tell him. And so much she wasn’t sure she should tell him – especially about Ben. 

“Finn, I’m so glad you’re okay. When I saw them shooting down the fleet, I…” She couldn’t even think of how to explain what she had been feeling, watching the First Order shoot down ship after ship, Kylo Ren doing nothing to stop it. She felt a flare of rage then. She should have been helping the Resistance, not trying to save a monster. Finn could have been killed, all because of her naïve belief that Kylo could be redeemed. She would never let anyone distract her from her mission again, especially not him. She had to protect her friends. 

“Yeah…” said Finn. “I sure was glad to see you too. Skywalker teach you to lift all those rocks?” he joked, and Rey laughed despite the overall air of despair over them all. He always seemed to know how to make her feel better. 

“You could say that. Training was…interesting, to say the least.” She thought back on the island, about how little it seemed Luke actually wanted to teach her. He had his reasons, sure, but Rey needed to be stronger, for the sake of all of these people and for the sake of the galaxy. She could hardly wait to begin the next phase of her training – with the texts she’d taken from the shrine. The next time she faced the First Order, she vowed to be stronger. 

Finn pulled away, holding her out at arm’s length. “When we land, you’re gonna have to tell me all about it. Every detail. So much has happened since Starkiller, it almost doesn’t feel real.”

Rey nodded. It was true, none of it felt like it was actually happening, like it was a dream she hadn’t woken up from yet, and in the morning she’d find herself in the Jakku desert. Her life had changed so quickly, and it seemed to show no signs of slowing down any time soon. 

The girl Finn had been holding walked up beside them, smiling shyly. “Hi.” She gave a small wave. 

Finn beamed. “Rey, this is Rose Tico. Rose, Rey. This girl saved my life.”

Rose blushed, waving her hands in front of her. “No, no, I wouldn’t put it like that…”

Finn wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she blushed a deeper shade of crimson. 

“Well, I would. Multiple times, actually. Rose is a real hero of the Resistance.”

“I’m just a glorified maintenance worker,” she protested. 

Rey cut her off by throwing her arms around the girl and squeezing tightly. “Rose…anyone can be a hero. I’m a scavenger. Finn’s a Stormtrooper. Thank you for protecting him…you’re a hero to me.”

Rose smiled from ear to ear. “Oh. Um. Thank you. I’m just gonna…go…over there. And, uh, plan. Yeah.”

She walked away and Finn laughed. “She idolizes you, y’know? I think you just made her day. Helped her feel a little better after…” There was a pause, a hitch in his voice, and Rey decided it was best not to press him. Not now, at least. 

“Did you really almost die?” Rey asked. 

Finn looked uncomfortable. “It was stupid. Apparently, I’m not always as smart as I’d like to be.”

“I get that,” Rey agreed. “I think that happens to a lot of us.”

After promises to meet up on base, Finn departed to talk with Poe, and Rey made her way to Leia. 

“General,” she greeted her. 

“Hello Rey, Dear. What can I do for you?” 

“I think we need to talk…about Ben.”

Leia looked around nervously, shushing Rey. “That’s a bit of a touchy subject right now, I hope you understand. Of course we need to talk, but…” Leia held one of Rey’s hands in her own. “Right now the most important thing to me is that we all safely establish ourselves in the new base. Once we’re safe, once we’ve eaten and slept, then we’ll talk. In private.” She gave Rey a pointed look. “I’d appreciate if you didn’t share any sensitive information with anyone else before we have a chance to talk, do I make myself clear?”

Rey was taken a bit off guard by her intensity, and wasn’t too keen on keeping secrets from her friends, but nodded in agreement anyway. If the general thought confidentiality was necessary, Rey trusted her judgement. 

“Thank you, Rey. All of this can’t have been easy for you. I’m proud of you.”

Proud, huh? Had anyone ever been proud of her before? 

“Thank you, General.” 

“We’ll land shortly, then we’ll all get some much-needed rest. We’ll start again once we’re all refreshed.” 

Rey excused herself, making her way to the compartment she’d stashed the Jedi texts into. When she was sure no one was paying any attention to her, she transferred them quickly to her satchel. If they were landing soon, Rey imagined they’d strip the Falcon of any useful items until they could make a supply run and Rey couldn’t risk anyone else finding them until she knew their power for sure.


	2. Bonded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all, I figured out how to italicize. I'm sure there were words in chapter 1 that were supposed to be that way, didn't realize they didn't copy/paste correctly from word? I'm clearly great at checking my work for errors lol
> 
> Not a super successful meet-up for the babes, hopefully next time is better?

Sure enough, before she knew it they were landing and she was shuffled off the ship. Leia along with a few volunteers offered to stay in the hangar to do maintenance on the ships there in case of an emergency evacuation and to keep guard. The majority of the crew was led down a series of hallways and assigned rooms. Luckily whatever systems were installed seemed to be functional as most lights worked and she heard someone exclaim from their room that there was running water, already exceeding their expectations about the state of the base after so many years of disuse, decades even. They were dusty, but every room had a bed, a small ‘fresher, and some shelves. There seemed to be many more rooms than people, good news if they were going to rebuild their organization here. This had been considered one small base of many in the times of the Rebellion, but now the entire remainder of the Resistance barely filled one hallway of it. 

Rey shut her door behind her, collapsing to the bed with a groan. It felt good to lay down. She felt like she’d been standing for days on end, muscles aching in ways they never had before, a deep ache that seemed to be coming from her core, from her very soul. She was just so _kriffing tired_

She sluggishly kicked her boots off her feet, working to remove her belts with clumsy fingers. She could already feel sleep trying to overtake her, and hoped she might be dreaming when she heard a whooshing sound and a voice from nowhere in particular. 

“So, I see this is still happening,” it said. 

Rey finally managed to remove her belts, moving to work on her arm wrappings next. If she ignored it, maybe it would go away. 

“What exactly are you doing?” he asked, sounding more corporeal than dream-like this time, and Rey opened her eyes to see Kylo Ren next to her bed, seemingly sitting on nothing. His under eyes were dark, skin sallow. He looked as tired as she felt. 

She scowled at him. “I’m sleeping. Leave.” He was the absolute last thing she wanted to see right now, and she doubted he would particularly like to see her after how they left their last few meetings. She had hoped that with the death of Snoke this bond would have died out as well. Wishful thinking, unfortunately. 

“Trust me, I’d love to,” he assured her, eyes narrowing. “If only I knew how. Why don’t you figure out how to leave? Aren’t you the all-powerful new Jedi master? I’ve got work to do and quite frankly a scavenger in my room is distracting.”

“A scavenger is distracting? Try a murderer. A _monster_ ,” she spat. 

He rolled his eyes at her. “If I were a monster, you would be dead.” 

She sat up in a huff. “And if I were only a scavenger, I would be dead.” 

“And yet, here you are,” he mused. The way he looked at her wasn’t with hatred. On the contrary, he always seemed oddly intrigued by her. “You’re the girl that just keeps surviving.” 

“No thanks to you.” Rey recalled his troops shooting at her on Crait, any shot could have been the end for her, and, in turn, the end for the Resistance. 

He shrugged. “You chose the wrong side of history, Rey.” 

“I chose the Light,” she disagreed. “I chose justice for every person you’ve ever hurt. For Finn. For Han.” 

He rolled his head back and sighed. “You didn’t know Han Solo. And Finn…this Stormtrooper. He means that much to you? You’d give your life for him?” He was watching her intensely now, eyes flitting to follow her barest of movements. 

Rey held her head high. “I would. He’s my friend, a word I’m afraid you’re unfamiliar with.”

“A friend, yes…” He clapped his hands together and moved to stand quickly, startling Rey and he moved to loom over her bed, leaning over the top of her as he looked down his nose at her. She could feel his breath on her skin, and his proximity caused her hair to stand on end, a shiver threatening to run through her. His eyes were intense, but not threatening. “I have an entire galaxy, Rey. I have no need for _friends_.”

She glared up at him from her seat, defiant. “Then why would you ask me to join you, if you’re so content up on your high horse all alone, you and your precious galaxy?” 

He straightened, putting distance between their faces. Rey swore she could almost smell him. 

“We could have accomplished great things. But I see now that you will only ever hold me back. You’re a weakness. You’re nothing.” 

Rey knew she should be angry, but she felt only hurt. She had been so sure he was changing, that she meant something to him the way he had begun to mean something to her, but everyone else was right – Ben Solo was gone. Kylo Ren was all that was left, along with all the rage and violence that came with the title. 

She felt so stupid. How could she have been so naïve?

Her eyes prickled with the threat of tears that had been held back until now – Tears for the lost Ben Solo and for all the lives taken today by Kylo Ren. Her vision grew blurry as she began to cry, far too tired by this point to fight them back. 

“What are you –“ he began, eyes widening as he realized what was happening. Taken aback, he wrinkled his brow at her, uncertain how to proceed under these new circumstances. 

Rey knew she should stop, that she was showing weakness to her greatest enemy, but it was all too much for her to handle. Everyone she cared about almost died tonight, would likely all die soon if they couldn’t get help and rebuild their numbers quickly. The numbness she’d felt all day fell away at once and her body was wracked with sobs, shoulders shaking as she drew her legs up to her chest and hugged them to herself. 

Kylo retreated uncomfortably to the farthest end of her small bunker. He reached out a hand barely in her direction, but quickly withdrew it. 

“Stop doing that” he tried to command her, voice unsure. 

Rey rolled over on the bed to face the wall, her back to Kylo Ren. This whole Force Bond mess was becoming a real problem, especially if she couldn’t find a way soon to control when it happened. She wanted nothing more than for him to disappear, to never see the man that could cause her to feel this much pain ever again. Would it be like this forever? What if he accidentally heard her talking about confidential information with Leia? Would Rey be the crack in the Resistance’s armor, the one to leak secrets to the First Order? She could get everyone killed, just by being around them, by trying to help. 

She could hear Kylo pacing behind her. “This is what the Light side is then? Weakness and emotion?” He scoffed. “How could anyone ever choose this over the strength of the Dark Side?” 

“Weakness…” Rey whipped herself around and out of bed, standing before him. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she could feel the tears still flowing down her cheeks, but she stood tall and met his gaze with all the intensity she could bear to muster. “You murdered _dozens_ of people today. People with family and friends and dreams. And you dare stand in my room after subjecting me to that and call me weak?” Rey could feel an almost electric charge to the room, a buildup of energy. “Do you feel _nothing_ , Ben Solo?” 

He tried to back away from her, but she stepped forward, preventing his escape. 

“That’s not my name,” he protested, eyes darting from her to their surroundings and back. “Ben Solo is dead.”

“Ben Solo,” she taunted. “Son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, Padawan of Luke Skywalker.” 

As she went on she could see his jaw tense. She was crossing a line, but in that moment she didn’t care. 

“No…you don’t feel nothing,” she corrected, “despite what you tell yourself. You, Ben Solo…you feel fear.”

He blinked at her, brows raised. Her face was only inches from his now. Images flashed through her mind, of Han leaving for another endless trip, of Leia leaving him in a mysterious temple with Luke, of Snoke…there were endless scenes of Snoke. He was always in the back of his mind, always whispering, telling him that nobody really loved him, that his family was afraid of him, that his father was disappointed in him, that he was weak, unskilled, unlovable, feared –

Rey gasped, backing away quickly from the man in front of her and falling back to sit on her bed. Kylo was now hunched over, hands holding his head, breathing labored. 

It took only a moment for Rey to realize what had happened. She had been in his head. 

She clapped her hands over her mouth, horrified. She’d entered his mind without his permission, pushed and wormed her way to his greatest fears and insecurities, and then thrown them back in his face without so much as a hesitation. 

She was surprised to hear Kylo laughing, a deep, throaty chuckle. He looked up at her between where is fingers grasped his head. “Well then. Maybe our new Jedi _isn’t_ too good for the Dark Side.”

And then he was gone, as quickly as he’d arrived. 

Rey felt sick to her stomach. The aged springs of her bed cried out in protest as she leaned forward, elbows on her knees and head hanging. She didn’t know much about the Jedi, but what she’d just done felt wrong. Powerful, but wrong. And she’d done with without a second thought, without even realizing she’d been doing it, as though it were second nature to her. 

It made her feel cold, despite the amicable temperature in the room. This feeling was more than skin-deep. It was as though the warmth in her core had been sucked out of her, replaced with…

_Darkness_. 

Luke had been right about her – she was too easily drawn to the Dark side. The realization made her ill. She curled up into the smallest ball her body would allow, trying to bring warmth back to her soul. 

Is this what Kylo Ren felt all the time?


	3. Tête-à-tête

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only ever dreamed of people reading and enjoying my writing, never thought I'd have the courage to ever post anything. Now that I have, I can't believe I didn't do it sooner. Your support of my work is appreciated, more than you know. Thank you.

Rey slept fitfully that night, dreams plagued by the rasping voice of the Dark side slowly corrupting a young boy’s mind. She tossed and turned, cold, but coated in a light sheen of sweat. 

Rey was startled awake by voices outside her door, men that seemed to be discussing some sort of technology the base offered. She understood some of the terms from scavenging old ships on Jakku, though some were unfamiliar to her. 

She sat up in the small bed and stretched, her aching joints protesting the motion. She still wasn’t used to sleeping on a real mattress and wondered if she would feel better if she just gave up searching for comfort and slept on the floor instead. 

She had no idea what the day would bring, but figured it was about time to find out. After a quick trip to the ‘fresher and replacing the clothes she’d removed the night before she made her way into the dimly-lit hallway. There were some crewmen socializing, some meandering off down another hall. She decided to follow them, as the direction they were heading seemed to be the way they had come from the night before and she hoped it would lead her back to Leia, or at least someone she recognized. 

To her delight, though, they all ended up in a sort of mess hall where volunteers were handing out pre-packaged meals similar to what she’d had on Jakku, only larger. She wasn’t eager to return to eating this after learning of the delights of fresh meats and greens on Ach-To, but she had certainly subsisted on worse and her grumbling belly would surely be thankful for something to fill it. 

As she got in line, she tried to calculate just how much she would have had to scavenge to get such a large meal pack. As she stood, she caught snippets of conversation around her, words such as “jedi”, “Kylo”, and “Snoke” stood out from the rest. It was then that she realized nearly everyone in the room was looking at her. When she would catch their gaze they’d politely look away, but the effect was the same. She could almost feel the fear bubbling up through the room as they spoke in hushed tones. Some were frightened of the First Order, of being discovered and killed by Kylo Ren and Hux’s Stormtroopers. Some, she realized, were afraid of her. Of what she was capable of. Of how little they all seemed to know about her, Rey the Jakku scavenger who somehow bested the strongest known Force User in the galaxy not once, but twice now. 

Kylo Ren was right. She was nobody. She came from nothing. And the fact that somebody from that sort of background could become so powerful so quickly made some of the crewmen rightfully uneasy. If she was being honest with herself, her newfound abilities made herself uneasy at times also. 

A perky young gunman that Rey recognized flashed her a smile as she handed her a packet of rations. At least she didn’t seem afraid. 

Rey smiled back and thanked her. About to turn around and head back to her room to eat, Rey was surprised by Finn coming up beside her and nudging her shoulder with his own, beaming. Rey visibly relaxed at the sight of him, releasing muscles she didn’t even realize she’d been tensing. 

“Good to see you again, Rey.”

“You too,” she smiled. “Though we always seem to reconnect at the worst of times…” Like during a Stormtrooper raid on Jakku, or after being kidnapped by the First Order on Starkiller Base, or, most recently, after the deaths of nearly everyone they had come to depend on. Rey hoped to end that pattern soon. 

Finn shrugged. “Maybe danger is just our forte.” 

She hummed in amusement. 

“Come eat with me,” he offered. “You have to tell me all about Skywalker.” 

Rey grimaced. His loss was peaceful, but it still hurt her to have to say goodbye to so many people. 

“Or…” he backpedaled, seeing her discomfort, “we could talk about how I got arrested, broke out of jail, snuck onto the Supremacy, got caught by General Hux, and escaped in a stolen First Order shuttle?” He raised a brow at her. 

“You _what?_ ” She was stunned by what she was hearing. She knew Finn was entirely capable of handling himself, but _that_? 

She had newfound respect for her friend, and for the lengths he would go to for the Resistance. If anybody was going to help them dismantle the First Order, it would be Finn. 

“Well, me and Rose Tico” he corrected, and she could swear she saw him blush. 

They started walking off toward the bunk area. 

“Rose Tico…” she repeated, remembering the girl from the day before. “She seems fantastic. Tell me about her?” She glanced at Finn out the corner of her eye. 

He nodded, smiling to himself. “She’s a maintenance engineer. Very talented. I think you two would really hit it off,” he suggested. 

Rey’s eyes lit up at the prospect of having a real female friend to talk to. On Jakku, it was every person for themselves. Of course there were women she’d spoken to fairly often, she may have considered them friends at one time, but there was nobody she could really trust. Nobody she could have gone to if she’d had problems or needed help. Nobody who really knew her. 

At that moment a younger boy Rey hadn’t seen approached them from down the hall before grabbed the edge of her shirt, tugging insistently to get her attention. 

“Jedi Rey,” he addressed her, the formality of the greeting making her uncomfortable. 

“Um, just Rey is fine,” she corrected him. 

He smiled. He couldn’t have been older than 8 years. What was he doing with the Resistance? 

“Jedi Rey, General Organa said she needs to speak with you.” 

Rey knew this meeting was coming, but wished it could have waited until after her talk with Finn. She looked over to him, expression apologetic. 

He shrugged. “Do what you gotta do, Jedi Ray. We’ll talk later.” He winked and continued down the hall to his bunk. 

She turned back to the boy. “Alright, I’m ready to go.” 

The boy took her hand, clearly excited to be running such an important errand, and began leading her through the halls. 

“So…,” she tried to fill the silence, “what’s your name?” 

“Balin,” he told her proudly, small feet pattering quickly along the stone floor. 

“Balin,” she repeated. She liked the sound of it. “That’s a nice name.”

“Thank you!” They turned down another hall. “Jedi Rey is a nice name too.”

She laughed. “Really, Balin, you can call me Rey. I’m not a Jedi just yet.” 

He seemed to ponder that before giving a brief nod. “Okay, Rey.”

He slowed when they reached a door that was slightly larger than most, but appeared to be of the same construction. 

“General Organa is inside waiting for you. I have to do something else for her real quick but let me know if you need anything, okay? They said you’re really important, so I want to help.” 

Rey wasn’t sure whether to be thankful for the extra aid or confused as to why Leia was putting such a small boy to work. She settled on thankful for now. 

“Okay, Balin. But you have to promise to let me know if you ever need help too. You’re also very important, and friends help each other.” 

His entire face lit up and he nodded vigorously. “Okay!” He ran off down the hall before Rey could say anything else, so she entered the door to face Leia. 

The general was sitting on a tall lounge chair, a hot mug of some sort of dark liquid in one hand as she picked at her ration biscuit with the other. As unwilling as Rey was to return to dehydrated foods, she was sure Leia was having an even more difficult time of it after a life of extravagant meals fit for leadership. 

Leia lifted her head toward the intrusion and smiled when she saw her. 

“Rey, dear, come. Have a seat.” She beckoned her toward a chair across from her own. 

When Rey sat down, Leia eyed her ration packet in her hand. 

“Oh, you haven’t eaten yet? No matter.” Leia set her mug on a table beside her and rose to collect a platter and some hot water for Rey. 

When they hydrated the pack, the mush bubbled and steamed before rising into a self-baked protein biscuit identical to the one Leia had been eating. As Rey shoved a large bite into her mouth, Leia returned to her seat, groaning in the process. 

“General, are you feeling alright?” she asked, worried. 

Leia waved away her concerns. “You don’t get sucked into the vacuum of space and not end up with a few muscle aches here and there,” she joked. 

Rey couldn’t bring herself to laugh. Leia could have been killed by that. Should have been killed by that. 

She certainly missed a lot during her time with Luke Skywalker. 

“Regardless,” she continued. “How was your night? Were you able to get any sleep?” 

Rey nodded. “A bit.” Between dreams of Snoke and Ben Solo, but she didn’t want to bother the woman with all of that. “And you?”

Leia shook her head. “I’ll sleep soon, when my crew is fully cared for.” Rey could see the bags under her eyes, there was no doubt they’d grown darker with the stress of the last few days. “I got plenty of sleep in the infirmary anyway.” 

“If you’re healing, I’m not sure it counts,” Rey protested. 

Leia laughed. “Now Rey, you’re starting to sound an awful lot like my mother! She never did approve of all of the dangerous missions and endless work.” Leia looked off into the distance, reliving memories of a family long gone. “Now my father, I think he would be proud of how far we’ve come.” Her expression was nostalgic, but not sad. She clearly missed her family but had come to terms with their loss. 

“General?” 

Leia looked at her once again. “Hm?”

Rey had to know. “What’s the story with Balin?” Surely the Resistance wasn’t recruiting child soldiers, but Rey just had to hear it from Leia herself. 

The general sighed, clasping her hands in her lap. “He’s a sweet boy. His parents snuck him onto the ship when they joined us. When we found out, they claimed they had no other family, nowhere else to go, and couldn’t bear to leave one parent behind with him.”

She pursed her lips, pausing. She looked to the door, as if checking to make sure there was no one there. 

“He ran off,” Rey assured her. “He said you had another errand for him, he hasn’t come back.” 

Leia nodded to herself. “I thought so, just…I haven’t had a chance to really talk with him yet, and I’d hate for him to hear about it from someone else.” She straightened her back. “Honestly, they made the right decision, taking him along. Their village was destroyed after they left. Decimated. The boy wouldn’t have survived. I promised his parents I would drop him off with a trusted family somewhere safe until they thought it was the right time to reunite, but…then…” She swallowed. 

“The First Order found us,” Rey finished for her. 

Leia nodded. “Balin was separated from his parents onto a separate escape pod. His pod made it to Crait, and theirs…” 

Rey looked down at her hands in her lap and played with her fingers. It was one thing, Rey losing Han and Luke. She was an adult who hadn’t known them for long. She couldn’t even begin to understand the grief of this little boy, losing his parents who loved him more than anything to a war that started before he was even born.   
“Deep down,” she continued, “I think he knows what happened. He’s a smart boy, loves to help and keep busy. I think right now he’s avoiding it.” 

Rey understood. “That’s why you’re sending him on errands.” 

She nodded. “It makes him feel important. Helps him forget. If I can help him be a happy kid for even a few more hours…I will.” 

Rey felt sad for the boy’s predicament, of course, but she couldn’t help but also feel relieved. And maybe, if she were being honest with herself, a bit jealous. Perhaps she had felt a similar pain once, when her parents sold her to Unkar Plutt, but the situation wasn’t comparable and Rey had spent much of her life trying to block out her pain. Rey’s parents had abandoned her to a life of back-breaking labor and poverty that she had to endure all on her own. Balin, however, had memories of parents who took every chance they had to better his life. His parents had wanted to stay. They loved him and tried their best to do what was best for him, and they were taken from him. And now that they were gone? He had Leia, one of the strongest people Rey had ever met, looking out for his well-being. Not only did Leia care if the boy lived or died, she was even going so far as to help preserve his _childhood_ , a luxury Rey had never received. The loss of his parents would no doubt be hard for him, but he had people looking after him. He would be okay in the long run, Rey was sure of it. 

“I think…” Leia continued, slowly, “that might be where we went wrong with Ben.” 

“What do you mean?” Rey asked for clarification. Ben had two parents who loved him, who tried to prepare him for his place in the galaxy, and he turned his back on them. He practically spat in their face after everything they’d done for him. She couldn’t imagine that the rise of Kylo Ren could have been the fault of Han or Leia. Luke? Perhaps. But not Han and Leia. They were two of the most honorable and caring people she’d ever met. 

Leia sighed, shaking her head. “You do your best with your children, with what you have. It’s only when you grow old that you realize where you could have done better, and by then it’s always far too late.” 

“General, I don’t think –“ 

Leia held up a hand, cutting her off. 

“Back to business,” she instructed. “Tell me what happened with Luke.” 

And so Rey told her story, from the beginning. It didn’t feel right to tell her about the Force bond, so she avoided those parts. Leia interrupted her retelling only once. 

“You took an escape pod to the Supremacy?” Her brows were scrunched in confusion. “Kylo Ren has tried to kill you on multiple occasions, now. Why would you risk it?” 

“I, uh…I could feel the Light in him.” She tried to explain without giving away too much. “Or at least I thought I did…I must have been mistaken though, a good person would never have done what he did.” 

Rey was surprised to see Leia grinning. 

“Why are you smiling?” she asked, puzzled. 

“I knew there was still Light in him. Han used to tell me it was motherly love overlooking everything he’s done, but...the Force doesn’t lie, Rey, and it doesn’t play games.” 

This made Rey uncomfortable. The Force certainly seemed to be playing games with her, tying her to Kylo Ren against her will and better judgement. What better reason could it have for their bond? 

“Leia, I was wrong about him.” Leia rolled her eyes, clearly frustrated. “Don’t you see? I risked everything for your son, to bring him back to the Light. I risked all of your lives!” She waved her arm, motioning toward the rest of the base. “I should have been with you, fighting the First Order. Maybe less people would have died. Maybe we wouldn’t have to be hiding out on some rock in space. But instead…” 

She was getting hysterical, and could feel electricity prickling in the air, a side effect of her uncontrolled connection with the Force. She paused in what she was saying, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to re-center herself. 

Leia waited patiently, not rushing her through this process, for which Rey was grateful. 

When she could feel the energy in the room subside, she felt it safe to continue. At least Luke had taught her _something_. “He tricked me. Lured me away from my purpose to help him overthrow Snoke so he would establish his own rule of the galaxy. That doesn’t sound like the actions of someone being called by the Light. Not to me.”

Leia remained calm, as usual, but her silence drew on to the point that Rey began to question her words. It was her son Rey was talking about, after all. Perhaps she should have kept her negativity to herself, and left the General with some hope that her son may not be gone for good. 

“Perhaps you’re right,” she responded finally, shrugging her shoulders. “Perhaps not.” She looked at Rey directly. “I know what I feel, and you know what you feel. One thing, however, remains unchanged. We can’t afford to waste any resources trying to bring him back to us.” She seemed tired, and more than a little heartbroken. “My son’s future is in his own hands now, with Snoke gone. All I can do for him is hope that he will one day make the right decision.” 

There was a tiny knock at the door, pulling both of them back to the moment at hand. 

Leia smiled. “Come in, Balin.” 

The boy entered the room, Poe Dameron following closely behind him. 

“General,” Poe addressed her with a curt nod in her direction. “I hope we aren’t interrupting anything?” 

“Of course not, dear, we were just finishing up.” Leia turned back to Rey. “I have a very important task for you, but before that I want you to hone your skills as a Jedi. My brother must have taught you _something_ useful?”

Rey nodded. While Luke himself hadn’t been the most help, she hoped the Jedi texts would prove more valuable to her cause. 

“Fantastic. There are some empty combat rooms you could use for meditation where nobody should bother you – just pick one and we’ll set it aside for you.” 

“Yes, General.” She was surprised by how quickly Leia could transition back to being a leader after how emotional their conversation had been only moments before. Rey wasn’t sure she herself would ever be capable of that sort of self-control. 

“While you’re at it…” Leia continued. “How good are you with electronics?”

Rey shrugged. “I’ve taken a lot of things apart. Built a few things.” 

“Well, why don’t you try something a bit different and try to put that saber of my brother’s back together?”

Rey lifted a brow. A lightsaber was very different from anything she’d worked with on Jakku, and this one was in pieces. 

“I know it’s a bit unconventional, but we just can’t afford to send you off into space to find your own Kyber crystal, so what we have at hand will have to do unfortunately.”

“I mean…” Rey cleared her throat. “I’ll certainly try my best.” 

“A lightsaber?” Balin was practically jumping up and down. 

Rey laughed, glad to see him in such good spirits. “Maybe I’ll show it to you when I’m finished.” As long as Balin was going to be around, Rey wanted him to feel included, like he had a family with them, just as she had found a family with the Resistance. 

Poe stepped forward. “There should be some tools in the hangar you could use, and who knows what kind of junk you might find on the Falcon.” 

Rey looked around the room, thankful for all of them supporting her. Though she wasn’t sure how yet, she knew she would do everything in her power to help the Resistance. 

“I suppose I’d better get to work then!” she said, standing. She hoped she sounded more confident than she felt. 

Leia stood also, gathering Rey in an embrace. When she was close enough, she whispered in her ear. 

“Let me know when you’re ready to tell me what you’re hiding from me.”

Before Rey could fully process what had happened, she was rushed out the door to make way for Leia’s next meeting. 

She stood in the hallway, blinking. 

How did Leia know Rey was keeping secrets, and just how much did she know?


End file.
